Wolvie's Little Helpers: An X-Mas Special
by sweet-n-sassy928
Summary: Would it be Christmas without a Christmas special? Uh, no. Our favorite characters have managed to get themselves in trouble (again). Now they're serving their sentence as Santa's Little Helpers. How much joy can one person endure?
1. The Great Cocoa War

**A/N: So it wouldn't feel like Christmas time if I didn't put together a Christmas special. So here it goes... Because Christmas makes me happy=)**

"Never, in all my years as an administrator, have I ever seen such behavior," Professor X stared over the line in front of him. He rested his elbow on the desk, his forehead, in his hand. "And from _young adults_."

Kitty would have rolled her eyes- Bobby _so_ did not count as a "young adult"- but the Professor looked so disappointed. Rogue gritted her teeth. This wasn't even her fault. She just happened to be around whenever shenaniganizing happened to occur. So she glared over at Remy, who made some sad attempts to swab whip-cream from his hair. And then Piotr, poor Piotr, who just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time (the thirty-second wrong time in a row).

What happened to our delightful little bunch? Let's take a look-see into a deep dark distant past...

_**Forty-three minutes earlier**_

"How long do we have to be here?" Rogue twirled the white streak of her hair with her index finger, staring as it spun loose, then re-twirling it.

The Professor thought it would be good PR to have a philanthropic function at the manor- you know, to promote a friendly image of mutants. So, he decided it would be a good idea to host a charitable event- a gala of sorts- at the beginning of December.

Platters of fresh baked cookies, steaming hot chocolate, and glossy red and green candies lined the tables at the edges of the ballroom. Everyone was required to dress up to the nines: we're talking uber ritzy. Kitty wore a floor-length scarlet dress with a white poinsettia in her hair, and of course she put Rogue in a long emerald satin gown. Kitty, jazzed to look so fabulous, grinned as she sipped her apple cider, while Rogue scowled. The girls stood by the snack table- as Kitty felt the need to guard the center piece: A gigantic gingerbread house... well, more of an estate, really. She, Kurt, and Remy Crocker (secretly) slaved over it for days. And she was determined that it would make it to the annual gingerbread competition in tact.

"Ladies."

A hand slipped around the smalls of both girls backs. A sharp exhale/sigh drained through Rogue's nose.

"Go away Remy."

He wore all black with a bright red tie- quite strapping, if I do say so myself. He made no response to her disenchanted greeting.

"Now, what are two beautiful glasses of water like yourselves doing out here all alone."

"Rogue's being boring." Kitty said, tipping back her glass again, disturbing the Martinelli's bubbles.

Remy glowered exaggeratedly at Rogue, like he could just shame her into being happier.

But now where Remy is, Pete is sure to follow- at least in these stories anyway. He quietly stepped around to stand by Kitty, as Remy had become rather comfortable standing between the two young women. Adjusting his white tie, he looked down at Kitty.

"Do I look ridiculous?" He said very quietly- though not self-consciously.

She smiled up at him. "Not at all. That shirt totally brings out your eyes." Giggling, she nodded at the cobalt button up behind his tie.

Pete smiled, while Rogue struggled not to roll her eyes. Those two needed to hurry up and get on with it because all the teenage rom-com banter was going to make her more ill than drinking a pitcher of egg nog.

She should have been thankful though. It was relatively late, and Remy had only just now found her. But, more importantly, the evening had gone on without incident. In fact, it was so incident-less, it was boring her out of her skull.

Until Bobby came around. And disaster struck like a Yettie with a raging tooth ache.

In a red vest and black tie, Bobby, as with the other younger students, was playing waiter. He strolled by with a platter of hot chocolate in his hands.

"Nice dress." He smirked at Rogue.

"Yeah it is." Kitty said, railroading over the sarcasm as Rogue's face turned a Christmasy shade of red.

Seeing her discomfort (and being unable to resist the opportunity to mess with the little ice cube) Remy snagged a cup as Bobby went by, proceeding to pour a part of it down his shirt.

To which, Bobby squealed. Swiveling, his immediate reaction was to retaliate, chilling an un-spilled mug to slush before tossing it in Remy's general direction. But "in Remy's general direction" was not quite at Remy. Actually "in Remy's general direction" was at Kitty. She squeaked, phasing only seconds after the frozen cocoa splattered all over her. Her gorgeous holiday dress ruined, her blood heated and she grabbed the nearest object, a sugar cookie, shaped like a star, and threw it at Bobby's face. But he ducked, and the cookie hit Scott in the back of the head. Simultaneously dislodging his goofy red glasses.

Ohhhhh snap.

A red burst set one of the curtains on fire before he could close his eyes. At which point Amara dropped her tray, spilling most of her apple cider on Ray; Sam tripped, his bite-sized hors d'oeuvres pumpkin pies into Tabby- who retaliated by dropping a creme brulee on his head.

And Bobby- stupid, stupid Bobby- could not pass up the opportunity. Since that one time at camp, he had craved the thrill of declaring once again:

"Food Fight!"

And of course, no one thought of the repercussions of starting an edible battle in the midst of some of the most prominent members of the community. Nope. And it will be known as The Great Cocoa War of 2013 for the rest of mansion history.

Kitty took a slice of ham to the face. Rogue was hit by a slice of seasonal eggnog flavored cake in the back of the head. But poor Pete, he just got nailed by a straight dish of whipped-cream.

Bobby dropped a cup of lukewarm cocoa on Remy's head, whipped-cream and chocolaty goodness dripping down his face, and took off running. Remy, of course, pursued, tackling the icicle, proceeding to shove sugar cookies into his mouth, three at a time.

Kitty, aghast at the chaos around her, looked to the snack table. Oh no! The Ginger Bread House. It had taken hours to decorate. She needed to save it! Where was Kurt to teleport it out when she needed him?!

Wordlessly, she looked to Rogue, who rolled her eyes, but got up to help her anyway.

Carefully, they picked the house (well, it was more like a mansion, with perfectly placed gumdrops and a Jolly Rancher stained glass window and courtyard and Jet Puffed marshmallow-whip jacuzzi in the back yard) up by the edges. Shuffling, very carefully shuffling to the nearest exit.

Never, ever try to save an immaculate gingerbread house from a food fight in heels.

Slipping in a puddle of hot cocoa, neither of the girls could recover. The house flew. And flew. And flew. To land... straight on the raging Wolverine...

Kitty's hands flew to her mouth. An audible, horrified gasp escaped from under her palm. She could have wept...

But at this point, the Professor entered, and all went silent.

**_Back to the Present_**

"A time stop?" The professor shook his head. "Multiple memory adjustments?"

The teens hung their heads in shame.

"I'm afraid there will be consequences." He sighed. "To make up for the charitable event you've dismantled, you'll be participating in another..."

Hmm... why did that sound like it was going to be awful...

**A/N: Wow! That chapter was long! (I know I do a lot of food fight scenes. But I can't help it. They're just fun.) More to come shortly=) like I'm hoping in the next twenty four hours.**


	2. Here Comes Santa Claws

**A/N: It's been more than 24 hours=( My life be crazy... On the bright side: thank you to tenchi13, Jangling Bacon, and Sonar for your reviews=) **

**But on with the Christmas goodness! (I don't own the rights to X-Men Evolution. Someone should gift me that. Like pronto)**

"Seriously?" Rogue held out the hem of her hideous forest green skirt. At least that way she wouldn't have to see the little gold jingle-bells attached to the tip of her shoe. Not that she'd gone all fashionista: but seriously. She had a policy against looking this goofy. And then she glanced over at Kitty, who looked just right with candy striped red and white socks, the red, green, and gold dress, and the hat. The hat. It was enough to make her feel ill. It was like the wardrobe bad omen. And worse: they were in a mall.

They waited around a massive gold chair with plush burgundy cushions, surrounded by fluffy fake-snow batting, two giant Christmas trees on both sides, and boxes wrapped in shiny red, green, silver, gold, and blue paper with elaborate bows.

"Nice hat." Remy swept by, flicking the floppy part of Rogue's hat to the other side, so that the jingle bell on the tip jangled like a thunderous clatter in her ears.

"I thought it matched yours nicely." A sarcastic smirk wound over her face as she looked at the decorative offense on top of his head. To his credit, his sexy smirk did not waver.

"The difference is Remy can pull it off."

She didn't bother with a smart comment back. The non-ironic laughter was enough.

And then there was Piotr. For whatever reason, we'll just say hulking Russians don't look right in elf costumes.

And then there was Bobby, who looked just right in his costume. Now what does that tell you about him?

"Where's our Santa?" Kitty said. She had had a semi-permanent pout since the destruction of the gingerbread mansion. Rogue was fairly certain she had heard her weeping in her sleep.

"Maybe he won't show up. And then we'll get to go home early." Bobby shrugged.

Kitty twitched a bit- the way she did when she was about to become unfathomably angry. "Not a word Snowflake." She snapped. "This is all your fault."

"My fault?" Bobby jingled as he pointed to himself. "I was _defending_ myself. You can blame Duck-Dynasty over there."

"Hey." Remy said. "Do I have a beard? They aren't even Cajun."

"They're from Louisiana."

"It's not the same thing." Remy glowered. If he had to give this speech one more time...

"He does have a point." Rogue glared at Remy with frosty green eyes.

"No he does not. Just because you live kinda sorta in the same region does not mean you share an entirely common culture. Learn some geog-"

"That this is kind of your fault."

"My fault?"

And there was a lot of voice escalating and arguing that I don't feel like describing. Until-

"I don't care whose fault it was. You're cutting into my Christmas vacation."

The teens tensed, frozen in place. Slowly, very slowly, they turned around to see... Santa? Very angry Santa. Very very angry Santa... with claws and pointy hair and a sneer that could kill on contact.

"Logan?" Trying to swallow back his laughter, Bobby was the first to snigger. Which was silenced by a glare colder than a blizzard.

"I was supposed to be babysitting you simpletons when Gumbo and Igloo decided to get fresh" That just happened. Logan just said _get fresh_. "Thanks to you pea brain hooligans," yeah, he said hooligans too, like an old person, "I get to serve on the front lines too."

"The front lines?" Bobby scoffed. "It's just playing Santa and elves for a few kids. How bad could it be?"

Silence. Ear shattering silence. Silly Bobby- has no idea what he's in for.

And this is when they saw one more elf, wandering up through the distance- just recognized by costume at first.

"Who else was sentenced?" Kitty's brows crinkled. She'd been certain it was just the five of them...

Said mystery elf began waving frantically when he became aware of the other elves' presence. And as he got closer...

"Oh no."

"It can't be."

"Oh but it is."

"We're doomed."

"Oi! Guys! No one told me you guys would be here!" Pyro, jingling along, had modified his elf suit, so that it had lights running through it, like something straight out of an ugly Christmas sweater contest. "I didn't know you volunteered."

"Volunteered?" Remy quirked a brow; Pyro nodded, like he was the sane one. "You mean you _volunteered_ to be here?"

"Sure mate. It's all in the Christmas spirit." Pyro grinned- I'm sure it wasn't _meant_ to be psychotic... but with Pyro every grin looks a little psychotic. "Didn't you?"

Oh dear. It was going to be a very long next few hours...

**A/N: Hehe. Logan as Santa. And Pyro had to be there. Got anything you are dying to see? Let me know! And, of course, it wouldn't be fanfiction if I didn't beg you guys for reviews. Please and thank you**!


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